When Does It End

When will my emotions stop my physical self from being seizing up? When will I get over being terrorized?

It happens whenever I travel from New Jersey into New York on the PATH subway line into the former World Trade Center station. The train turns 360 degrees around what is known as 'the tub' , a concrete foundation shaped like a tub that keeps the Hudson River from flowing into where the foundation for the Twin Towers were. True to form of New York City's resilience and grit, the buildings are gone and all but the Tub remain. The PATH train moves as it always has around the perimeter of the tub - - only now it's like a toy train running around a large open and grey hallow. I find it most disturbing and morbid. I wish they would install think black curtains so this view would be blocked.

Although I would like to see view of the tub obscured, I'm not to sure what to make of the random postcard, tourist souvenir and lighting fixture I come across bearing an image of the World Trade Center.

I watched a preview this weekend of Oliver Stone's new movie on my computer. I so wanted to just enjoy seeing Nicholas Cage play a working class Noo Yawka - - a role I enjoyed seeing him do in Bring Out The Dead - - but all I could do was bawl.

I thought about the movie, the event it portrays and events that have followed and hope that everyone can just agree that the continued violence that has ensued must cease.